“Look on the bright side!”
“It’s really not that bad.”
“No, honestly, people have it worse than me…”
“I shouldn’t complain…”
Have you caught yourself saying these things to yourself or others? If so, you might be a victim of toxic positivity.
What is toxic positivity?
As psychologists, we see this all the time - oftentimes, in people experiencing clinical depression and/or low self-esteem.
And it is our job to shed light on the potential pitfalls of an overly “optimistic” approach and advocate for an authentic emotional experience.
Toxic positivity is a term that encapsulates the tendency to exclusively focus on positive aspects, denying, minimising, or invalidating any form of negative emotion or experience.
When positivity becomes more than a positive thing
Now, don’t get me wrong - maintaining a positive outlook and feeling optimistic and hopeful about the future is so important for mental wellbeing!
But just like being too negative is biased, so is being too positive.
An overemphasis on optimism may inadvertently dismiss the complexity of human emotion and hinder the healthy processing of difficult experiences.
In a culture that often urges us to "look on the bright side" or "stay positive," the pressure to mask genuine feelings can lead to emotional suppression and, ultimately, psychological distress.
In fact, research indicates that we can get what’s called a Rebound Effect if we suppress negative emotion. Initially we can suppress our negative feelings for a short time, but this involves quite a significant amount of emotional labour which makes it unsustainable. So, we rebound; often experiencing much stronger negative emotion than we did initially.
It's crucial to recognize that emotional well-being involves a nuanced interplay of both positive and negative emotions, each serving a purpose in our personal growth and resilience.
To be emotionally intelligent, we must be aware of, and accept, negative emotions
As a clinical psychologist, I frequently encounter individuals who have internalized the notion that expressing negative emotions is a sign of weakness or failure. However, the suppression of authentic feelings can manifest in various ways, including increased stress, depression, poor self-esteem, and an overall sense of emotional disconnection.
You can’t be emotionally intelligent, without an awareness and acceptance of negative emotions.
Emotions are functional. Anxiety helps us foresee some sort of future problem; sadness tells us we’ve lost something important to us; anger helps us recognise injustice and prompts us to right wrongs.
What to consider when navigating toxic positivity
Here are key considerations for navigating beyond toxic positivity:
1. Embrace emotional authenticity
Allow yourself the space to experience a range of emotions without judgment. Recognize that every emotion, whether positive or negative, serves a purpose. Try to understand what it’s telling you.
2. Normalise emotional complexity
Challenge societal expectations that prioritize constant positivity. Acknowledge that life is inherently complex, and emotional experiences are multifaceted. Sometimes negative emotions are warranted!
3. Cultivate emotional intelligence
Develop an awareness of your emotions and the ability to navigate them effectively. This includes understanding the root causes of feelings and implementing healthy coping mechanisms.
4. Encourage open communication
Foster environments that encourage genuine conversations about emotions. Create spaces where individuals feel safe expressing their true feelings without fear of judgment.
5. Seek professional support
If navigating your emotional landscape feels challenging, consider seeking support from mental health professionals. We can provide a confidential space to explore and understand your emotions.
Looking for psychology support in Sydney?
At Brodie Earl Clinical Psychology, we advocate for a holistic approach that helps people to understand and effectively manage their emotional experience. By fostering emotional authenticity, we empower individuals to cultivate resilience and lead more fulfilling lives.
Contact us for more information on how you can improve your emotional intelligence and more effectively deal with your negative emotions, or book an appointment with a Sydney psychologist here.